It was a beautiful spring day. A cool, soothing breeze was in the air and joy was palpable around me on this beautiful day. The age old banyan tree swayed its heavy branches as if to bid farewell to an invisible someone it had known a long time. I sat alone on the park bench and smiled. The irony of my situation was strange. I was expected by all to be sad. To wander the earth with a broken heart searching for a long lost love which was ripped from my heart. The world expected me to be so. Then why was i so happy and, in its true sense, light?
My heart was ripped apart hours ago by the one i loved. The cuts were a long time in the making but the preparation proved futile. There are some things you simply can't prepare for. One is losing someone you love. The other perhaps is death. But even when every preparation was in vain and every effort not to feel the loss was a line on the water surface, here Iwas moments later feeling happy and at one with the joy flooding around me.
I am sure that a passerby would think I am mad, for my actions were curious. Save a few seconds of thought, I was smiling perhaps like an idiot in love. Like an idiot in love, what a way to feel when love was what I had lost moments before.
But the more I thought about it the moreIi realized that the last couple of months showed me a relationship I could not complement. What was dear to me was a bit of care. If i'm not entitled to that, then is there a use in such a relationship? My feeling did count, whatever anyone else thought about it. And now one person was short from the list of people who didn't give a damn.
Love is about being there for someone and getting that back from your loved one. In the absence of this security, love can't survive. Lust could. But love most certainly can't. i am 22 years old. I have just one relationship which lasted 3 years. And now i am alone again. To wander this heath of lost love? Or to explore the world with a better understanding, a more widened approach and a hell of a will to survive. But I don't want to survive. I want to live, live free on my own terms.
This is my promise to a new life and a lesson learnt from a love gone sour. My life offered me joy for the past three years, not it offers me much pain. But anything that life throws at me, I can take. And anything that doesn't kill me makes me stronger. So with a stronger heart, a heart scarred, but thirsting to beat with the vigour of fresh expectation, I set out to find what life throws my way next.
Hope. I hold it close to my heart. And dreams are with me while my soul lives on..............
Dedicated to every person who was, is or wants to be in love!
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